Shaving!
by Sunadokei-chan
Summary: Itachi finds a dark and mysterious secret about Kisame and his sword. Can he use it his advantage? Or will he spiral down into a bloody future? Wow, my summaries suck. ONESHOT and totally random. T for uh...IMPLYING things.


-Bwahaha. I was watching that episode with the first real appearance of Itachi and Kisame on YouTube, then I saw the thing about the shaving sword. Then I was talking to Ai-bozu and I thought "...Woah. That's why Akatsuki members are like that..." and yeah. I won't spoil it for you.

MP-chan: MP-chan thinks this is REALLY stupid. Shaving swords do not exist.

-Now, to ignore my muse and have my very special guest read the disclaimer! ENTER: KISAME HOSHIGAKI!

Kisame: Eh? How'd I get here?

-hands Kisame a script- Read it or DIE!

Kisame: Eh..."Sunadokei-chan does not own Naruto or YouTube or any sharks. She just wishes she did. But she does own all her fanfiction, which people say she creates because she has way too much time on her hands and she spends her days staring at the sky thinking about Itachi, Kakashi, Kimimaro, etc." ...Eh?

-currently killing MP-chan with stolen giant shaving sword-

-Ahem. And before we continue, I would like to ask Kisame, why does your last name mean dried persimmon? (Or at least, i think it does...)

Kisame: I am a carnivore. I eat no...persimmons.

-Good enough! On with the story!

* * *

Itachi had just woken up. It was a long night. The fangirls had raided the Akatsuki hideout and tried to steal his underwear, MUCH to his disgust. He had tried to fend them off with the Tsukiyomi, but they kept asking if he would poke them with his finger rather than swords. In the end, he just threw a pair of Sasori's boxers into the crowd and they ran off, sniffing the underwear all the way home. (I love plotting Akatsuki raids. Bwahahahaha!) 

Thus our favorite homicidal Uchiha trudged through the hallways of the Akatsuki hideout, the already huge bags under his eyes maximized to their full face-stretching capacity. (Woah. I totally didn't get that.) He was coming up to the bathroom, his hand on the doorknob, when he stopped.

From inside the bathroom was a horrible, slick, gut-wrenching shaving sound.

Itachi froze. Were the fangirls back? If they were, then they would prevent him from attacking by glomping him until his ribs were crushed.

But if it was something else, he could just kill it on the spot.

Slowly but surely, Itachi opened the door to the bathroom just a crack and peeked in.

Inside, was Kisame... (gaspo!)

Holding...(O-O)

His giant...

(wait for it, here it comes!)

SWORD! (Hahaha! Did I scare ya?)

Itachi couldn't believe it. Kisame was running his sword along his face, as if he were nuzzling it or something like that.

Then he realized it.

Kisame was using his sword...to SHAVE.

So THAT'S why he always kept it in the bathroom. Itachi always thought that it was because it was made of shark scales, so it needed water.

Kisame placed his sword down, and Itachi hurried away to avoid being caught.

* * *

The next day, Itachi had realized that he had grown a slight bit of facial hair. He had never had anything like it before, so he spent 10 minutes poking and pulling at it. (XD Silly Itachi.) 

Then he got a brilliant idea.

Rushing down to the bathroom, he shut and locked the door, then pulled Kisame's sword out from behind the sink.

* * *

At this point in the story, the author is not at liberty to describe Itachi's "shaving". So instead, let's just say that when Itachi left the bathroom, he looked like Orochimaru after he had switched bodies, to the consequence of Kisame fainting, Sasori needing CPR (despite the fact that he's kinda a puppet), Deidara glomping our Oro look-alike, Zetsu poking him, and Tobi running around saying "Tobi likes squirrels, Tobi likes squirrels, Tobi likes squirrels!" 

The moral of this story is: uhh...well...I can't really think of a moral. Let's just say "All's well that ends well."

* * *

That was short, wasn't it?

Read and review, constructive critisism (if critisism at all...meh.). NO FLAMES OR I WILL MAKE YOU EAT MP-CHAN'S CORPSE WHOLE!

Fear the wrath of a thousand shaving swords! Bwahaha! XD


End file.
